The Dear Abby Approach to Problem Solving
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By :
Gloria Arenson
Submitted
2008-11-28 09:29:48 |
Are you the kind of person that others call when they need advice? Do you pride yourself on your compassion and smarts when it comes to aiding others but can't seem to use your loving wisdom when it comes to your problems? Here is a simple game that will enable you to be your own best friend.
You can consult the part of you that knows what to do and how to do it in most areas of your life. First pick someone you consider to be wise and loving. Imagine that one in the form of your own inner Dear Abby or a favorite wise advisor. Your mentor might be your beloved grandfather, a figure from history like Abe Lincoln or even a fictional character such as Minerva, the goddess of wisdom.
Next, write a long paragraph to Dear Abby or your chosen helper. Pour out your worry, anxiety or fear about what is bothering you. Then, re-read what you just wrote to see if it makes sense. Finally, sign the letter.
Now turn the paper over and pretend that you are the Wise one responding to your problem. If you feel awkward, start with, "Dear (put your name here), I read your letter with great interest. There is an answer to your problem. You are a good and worthy person, and you deserve to get over this problem." Keep your pen moving and let the words flow through onto the paper. Keep writing until you feel finished.
Read the reply out loud to yourself and notice how you feel. The way to recognize whether the answer you receive is from Wisdom is to ask yourself these questions. Is it reasonable? Does it make sense? Is it loving and kind or does it feel harsh and punishing? Is it something I feel good about doing?
If you are satisfied and are ready to follow through with the advice, you are finished. However, if it is physically or emotionally harmful, it is not Wisdom speaking. When there are many phrases starting, You should or You have to it may be your inner Critic in disguise. If that is the case, begin again and make sure to choose a loving guide this time.
Once you get the hang of this method you can use it whenever you are stuck to access your own secret problem solver, you! |
Author Resource:-
Gloria Arenson, MFT, treats stress, anxiety, trauma, phobias, and compulsions. She has authored How to Stop Playing the Weighting Game, A Substance Called Food, Born To Spend, Five Simple Steps to Emotional Healing, Freedom At Your Fingertips and Procrastination Nation.
http://www.GloriaArenson.com
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