What You Heard Isn't What I Said
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By :
Shawn Wilson
Submitted
2008-11-25 21:06:27 |
I've always prided myself in being a good listener. Friends call me regularly to chat and tell me what's new in their life, what's old, what's working, and what's not.
My family, although scattered throughout the country, keeps in touch through phone calls and emails and they too think I'm a good listener. But you know what they say about pride don't you? Pride goes before a fall, and I'm not talking the season after summer either!
I was reminded of this quite sharply today when a colleague posted a comment on a forum in response to a post of my own. I read his comment and saw red! How dare he blindside me like that! Okay, I was mistaken in my own post, but couldn't he just have called me and told me? Did he have to make me feel like a total idiot, a complete moron? What's the matter with him that he would be so inconsiderate? What did I ever do to him? And so it went on and on in my head until I was so worked up I was in serious danger of stroking out.
I've learned from experience that it's always better not to react in anger. That it's better to take a few minutes, breathing deeply all the while, until my blood pressure comes back down to an acceptable level. So that's what I did.
When I went back to the forum and read all the posts from beginning to end, then his comment made sense. It wasn't directed at me at all, but rather a particular situation of which I was unaware. Without going into all the details, I got all worked up over nothing. In other words, what I heard isn't what he said. Selfishly, I assumed his comment was directed at me, and I was wrong! Dead wrong. Had I not taken to the time to a) calm myself down and b) analyze the whole situation, rather than just the part that I though pertained to me, I could have done some serious damage with a nasty reply of my own.
That would have been a real shame. This colleague and I work well together and we are often assigned to work on the same project, so a rift in our relationship would affect more than just our attitudes towards each other.
So the next time you think you've been insulted or blindsided or whatever, take the time to review, reread or replay the entire situation. Make sure that what you heard is actually what was said and don't let your pride lead you to a potentially nasty fall. |
Author Resource:-
This article was written by Shawn Wilson, a member of the customer support team at Datepad, where internet dating is always free. Datepad has a massive directory of informative dating articles along with a great list of dating site reviews on their dating blog.
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