Today it seems that the prevailing view of "morality" is that doing some things is OK as long as you don’t get caught. When I see the latest corruption scandal in Washington, the most striking thing to me is how cheap it is to buy a Congressman. Sometimes the amounts are only 10’s of thousands of dollars -- and these are only the instances that come to light. Have you ever checked your change after a purchase and seen that you received too much change? What did you do about it? Here’s a thought. Is your integrity worth the extra few dollars you could get by keeping the money?
Many people seem to have a decision making process that revolves around the questions, "Can I get away with it?" and "Can I do this without getting caught?" They don’t seem to feel there is any intrinsic rightness or wrongness to the act itself. They don’t seem to feel any twinge of guilt about doing the thing. It’s obvious that on some level they believe it’s not OK (or they wouldn’t be concerned about hiding the act), but that in itself is not enough to cause them to behave otherwise. They wouldn’t want to be discovered to be guilty of the act or known for having done it but "getting away with it" is the deciding factor.
When we see religious or political leaders caught in their transgressions, they look embarrassed and shamefaced. This tells us that they do have an innate sense of their wrongdoing but that was not a compelling enough reason to behave differently.
What is going on in the "get away with it" dynamic? It’s a common temptation. There must be a kind of hubris attached which creates a suspension of reason. We aren’t thinking "We could get caught", or about the potential consequences, we think about how we could do the deed -- without anyone knowing -- and thinking less of us.
Doesn’t this mean that it’s the opinions of others that drive our choices -- not our own opinion of ourself and our behavior? If we can do an act that we intrinsically believe to be "wrong" as long as we believe no one but us will know -- then our life is a "show" and driven by our need to "look good" in the eyes of others.
There seems to be no consideration of the toll on our own self esteem that such a choice will have. Most people fail to ever connect the two -- their self esteem and their choices that violate their own right/wrong beliefs. These two are directly related. One of the easiest and quickest ways to raise your self esteem is to align your behavior with your beliefs -- with absolutely no consideration of the opinions of others.
Examine for a minute what goes on in your head when you’re tempted to behave contrary to your right/wrong beliefs. First, there’s sort of a tremor of excitement as you imagine you could do the deed and no one would be the wiser. It seems that the concept of "get away with it" might be almost hypnotic. This is a point where any rational contemplation or consideration does not occur. Consequences do not seem to enter into our decision making.
Assessing the cost to your self regard does not enter into the situation either. There never seems to be a "fast forward" into what could potentially happen if the action is discovered. The thrill of committing a transgression free of observation seems to be the primary motivator itself. It’s almost as if a delusional state sets in that imagines a thrill of shocking others about discovery. Who is ultimately being "fooled" here, ourselves or others? In the end it is ourselves we delude.
What does it look like to choose to behave in agreement with our beliefs? We do not look outside ourselves for the ultimate approval of others. We look inside ourselves to be guided by our own beliefs. We choose not to succumb to the titillating temptation to "get away with it". We can coolly assess that tendency as a hubristic belief that we are too important to conform to what we imagine are the codes that guide lesser mortals.
We must believe we are too "special" to follow the norms. This is a wrong headed perversion of reality. Again, it puts the guidance for our choices outside ourself. The next time you are tempted to do something simply because you can get away with it -- reconsider.
Author Resource:-
Suzi Elton is a success coach working with highly creative types to create income that matches their talent.She has coached hundreds of clients to approach their goals strategically through tiny steps to bring about quantum leaps. Get free Life Purpose exercises, at http://mylifepurposecoaching.com.
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