Break-ups can be devastating, both to your ego and your heart. Most of us live through our fair share of heartbreak before we settle down with the one who is right for us. But what if the one who just broke your heart IS the one for you? Maybe you have just been jilted and you are not willing to let things go. Is this really the end, or is it possible to win your ex back again?
Depending on the circumstances in which you two ended your relationship, it is possible to reconcile and have a second chance at the love you once shared.
First, determine the reason why your relationship came to an end. Was it due to cheating on either part? If so, there is a greater chance that the two of you may need to move on. Infidelity is the number one reason why marriages and relationships fail today. The amount of bitterness and mistrust it causes are often impossible to recover from.
Maybe the reason why the relationship ended is unclear. You may still be trying to sort these answers out for yourself.
If you are sure that your ex is the one for you, the short period of time immediately following the break-up is a crucial time. There are five things you can do right now that will greatly increase your chances of winning your ex back.
1. Don't let your emotions get the best of you.
During these first weeks after the initial shock, many people become angry and allow their emotions to completely rule their actions. Some become so overtaken with anger over the situation, they do things that they later regret. If you start harassing your ex, threatening them, destroying their property, or stalking them, later regrets may prove to be too late. Resist the urge to act out.
2. Realize that it takes two to make it work.
Use this time apart as a wakeup call. If the break-up came as a complete surprise, that is a good indication you were not noticing signs of relationship failure. Maybe you were becoming complacent in the way you were handling your ex, or spending too much time with your friends. Were you treating your ex with the same amount of care that you did when the two of you first got together? Relationships take a purposeful effort between two people. If one person drops off, the other may be left with feelings of rejection that can lead to break-up if things don't get back on track.
3. Improve yourself.
The desire may be strong to start hitting the bars with your friends or to pull the covers over your head and wallow in depression. That is the opposite of what you should be doing. Start going to the gym, buy yourself a new outfit, get a haircut. Do things that will improve your outward appearance and you will feel self-confident when the opportunity arises to talk to your ex about reconciliation.
4. Don't beg.
Give your ex some time to miss you. At first, they will spend time justifying their decision to end the relationship. After a week or two, they will begin to miss the little things that initially drew both of you together. That is why it's so important to do the right things during those first few weeks after the break-up. If you would have freaked out and started harassing or threatening your ex, it would have only served to prove to them that the decision they made was correct. Allow them this undisturbed period of time to begin to think about you again.
5. Make the phone call.
After a couple of weeks, it is safe to pick up the phone and let them know you are thinking about them. It is important that you don't play games when you call. Don't tell them you are calling because you need your blue shirt back. This will only send mixed messages. Make the call, let them know that you miss them (without groveling or crying), ask how they are doing, and let them know you'd like to get together for coffee or lunch at the park. Most likely, they will say yes.
When that first date after the break-up happens, let your ex see the best possible version of yourself. No drama, jealousy, or arguments allowed. It is only when your ex is able to realize what they have lost that they will consider getting back together.
If you do these things, chances are good that you two will feel that familiar spark during your first meeting after the break-up. This is a good time to talk about seeing each other again or even discussing what went wrong. Once you two get to this point, you are well on your way to having your ex back in your arms once again.
![[Valid RSS feed]](images/icon_Rss.png "XML Feed For RSS"){kind=icon}
Category Rss Feed
Print This Article
Add To Favorites
